Kissing Blog

Nearly everyone who has seen the movie spiderman has at some point harbored the secret desire to kiss someone while hanging upside down. Admit it! We all have.

So how do you convince someone so kiss you while hanging upside down in the rain? Shoot, it doesn’t even have to be raining! How do you do it?

The easiest way to not feel like an idiot is to somehow get yourself in a believable situation where you would be upside down. This is kind of hard to pull off, but Seth Cohen managed to do it in The OC Season 2 episode called Rainy Day Women:

Here’s what you’ll need:

1. A ladder
2. Satellite TV
3. Rope
4. Knot tying skills (this is very important)
5. Someone to kiss

All you have to do is pretend the satellite TV is broken, and that the dish needs to be adjusted on the roof. Climb up on the roof, tie the rope to your waist and to the chimney. Make sure the rope is long enough for you to hand upside down at kissing height, but not long enough to smash your brains out on the ground. When you slip accidentally on the roof, your kissing partner will have no choice but to come outside and free you, and they will definitely not pass up the opportunity to kiss you while hanging there helplessly upside down. With any luck there will be a rainstorm and that someone will be Kirsten Dunst.

OR you could just wait til your boyfriend/girlfriend is lying on the floor, approach from the direction of their head and surprise kiss them upside down. This is a lot less dangerous and almost as fun.

Note: Please don’t try the rope, ladder, roof thing. It’s dangerous, and we won’t be liable. We are just being facetious about the whole thing!

Displaying affection publicly (also known as PDA) can be the source of relationship drama and, occasionally, kissing catastrophe. Sometimes it’s hard to be as bold as the guy in the famous picture below, and sometimes it’s hard to concentrate on the kiss when you’re thinking about a hundred people who are probably watching.

Some people are fine with kissing in public, but others are very uncomfortable with it. It is easy to hurt someone’s feelings when they try to kiss you (after you’ve kissed before) and you act uncomfortable or try to get out of it. To avoid any unnecessary relationship drama that this could bring, we recommend you keep the following in mind:

1. Talk about kissing in public before you kiss them in the middle of the subway station - or worse - in front of everyone at the family reunion. Understand that if your partner is scared to kiss in public, it’s not because they don’t like you enough. It’s because they’re shy. Respect their feelings. With time, it won’t be an issue or fear anymore.
2. Work up to it. Hold hands in public first. Give them a little peck on the street before you decide it’s time to make out at the bus stop. Don’t go for the big Frencher in front of their parents!
3. Don’t pressure them. This is a very important rule in relationships anyone. Never pressure someone into doing something they’re uncomfortable with. If you really like them, you won’t. And if someone pressures you, they don’t really like you and you should get out of the relationship fast!

PDA isn’t just a pocket organizer - it’s an exciting way to show your affection. Kissing in a crowded street can be awesome and exhilirating. But remember to be conscious of your partner’s feelings and fears.

When it comes to kissing, which party should take the initiative? Should the guy be “the man” and kiss the girl? Or is it OK for the girl to kiss the guy? Is that too forward?

Jennifer, of Prattville, AL, says:

“I think the guy should be the one to call and to kiss the girl first. After that, I think it’s ok for the girl to be the one to start things, but when things are starting off, it’s the guy’s job to take charge.”

Brent, of Tacoma, WA, says:

“Girls need to stop being so whiny about how guys have to do everything. If I like a girl and she kisses me first, I think that’s hot. I don’t feel like it’s fair for them to have to wait for the guy.”

So, it looks like opinions are across the board. Whatever you decide is appropriate, just make sure that the kissing is consensual! Don’t kiss someone who doesn’t want to kiss you - and especially don’t make them feel pressured or manipulated into it. If feelings are mutual, it shouldn’t matter who takes the initiative as long as you like each other!

Good luck!

Another common fear that some people have is that of getting their braces stuck when they kiss someone. This unlikely situation can be avoided by just being careful - besides, you don’t want to bump teeth that often if you don’t have braces! But there are a few tips that we recommend in order to minimize your risk of braces-induced kissing drama.

Clear Braces - Get braces on without anyone know.  Learn about the alternatives to metal braces.

1. Avoid kissing someone who has just gotten their braces on. Their teeth will be tender, and it might be quite painful to kiss them in this state. Try to wait about a month after they get the metal put on!

2. Kiss softly. This is good advice anyway. Go slowly and kiss close-mouthed first. You can explore French kissing after you kiss them gently for a little bit. It might be dangerous to go straight for the French kiss if you’ve got metal in your mouth.

3. Don’t be afraid! This is the best advice we can give. Relax, and don’t worry about it. Some people actually think of kissing someone with braces as something that is especially hot, like kissing with a tongue ring. Think of it this way. Everyone we’ve asked thinks so too!

Happy kissing!

Recently, we discussed kissing someone taller than you, and so in the interest of fairness we thought we’d write something for you tall kissers.

No one is exactly the same height. Chances are if you’re a guy, you’ll be kissing girls who are shorter than you. This just seems to be the most common, although kudos to you guys who are dating taller girls! A few inches in height difference never hurt anyone, and it actually is what a lot of girls call the ideal kissing situation.

However, if you’re significantly taller than your kissing partner-to-be, this can be quite distressing! Never fear, though, it’s not the end of the world. And short-tall relationships can and do work. There’s no reason they shouldn’t.

That said, there are a few things you can do to make that first kiss a little less awkward. After that, you can have all sorts of fun picking them up and kissing them!

1. Kiss them on the couch. This is definitely the best way to make your first move if you’ve got an awkward height difference. Get comfortable and go for it!

2. Kiss them while you’re playing around somewhere - examples are when you’re at the park or jungle gym (you’re bound to end up on the ground at some point or on uneven ground, when they’re on a swing for example is a good place to kiss them).

3. Just be confident. Kiss them standing up. Let the slowness of coming all the way down to kiss them become a part of the anticipation that you build before actually kissing. Anticipation is one of the keys to attraction anyway. Being brave and confident scores way more points than being someone’s height.

When it comes down to it, if they want to kiss you, they won’t mind how tall you are. There’s no need to be afraid!

Happy kissing!

One of the most common kissing concerns we encounter is that of kissing someone taller than you are. Of course, equally many people are worried about kissing someone shorter than they, but we’ll cover that in another post!

First of all: don’t panic! There are several ways to rectify the height gap, and if you’re the shorter party to the kiss, you’re actually the lucky one. Tall people generally feel way more intimidated about kissing someone shorter than them. At least YOU don’t have to lean all the way down for the kiss! Feel lucky because the kissing approach is shorter for you.

Most important is to put your taller kissing partner at ease by giving them all the signs that you want to kiss them. Of course, it’s intimidating enough to kiss someone (especially the first time) if you aren’t sure they like you. If you give them all the signs that you’re ready for a kiss, it’ll make the height thing easier.

We recommend three basic approaches to the height differentiated kiss:

1. Stand on the step. When your partner is dropping you off at your house, beat them to the steps by a second or two, walk up a step, and turn around. This will hopefully be a clear sign that you want to kiss them, and they’ll think it’s cute. It also puts you at the perfect height for it!

2. Kiss them on the couch. This is the perfect place to kiss in a cozy setting where height couldn’t matter less! Cuddle up to them during a movie, or even better, after a movie, and let the sparks fly!

3. Stand on your tippy toes and make it humorous! Humor will ease any tense situation. When you’re about to kiss them, stand on your tippy toes and make it obvious that you need them to come down for it. Make it fun!

Good luck, and happy kissing!

We recently had a couple of friends submit a video to us, which we then sponsored and put on the web, called “How to Avoid Kissing.” It’s on Metacafe and Youtube, and it has recently been added to VideoJug’s how-to section for relationships.

The video has been a moderate success, with lots of views and mixed reviews. Some people just don’t have much of a sense of humor! But that’s ok, because many people have loved it. We encourage anyone to contribute their advice, pictures, or videos to us! Just leave us your info by commenting on the blog (we won’t make your contact info public!) and we’ll get a hold of you about sponsoring your kissing videos or kissing pictures or even kissing stories!

Tell me if you think I’m wrong. Doesn’t it seem like if a boy has kissed a lot of girls, he’s a hero, but if a girl kisses a lot of boys she’s a tramp? Or what about someone who hasn’t ever kissed anyone? Are they a loser? We shouldn’t assume as much, because maybe kissing means more to them than others. Or maybe they just haven’t found someone they want to kiss. Or maybe they’re only 15 and you can get off their back. Looking back on my middle school and high school days, I regret kissing 50% of the people I did. I say hooray for the kid who didn’t kiss Mandy Makeout just because he hasn’t kissed anyone yet. Yet there will be some who call him a loser. And there will be some who call Mandy Makeout a slut.

Double standards abound.

I think this goes even beyond kissing, but the point is that we should hold people to the same standard, no matter what sex they are. Or race or age for that matter.

There should be a universal standard for kissing. It could be kind of like one of those RPGs where you level up after so many kills… only this will be kisses. I’ve broken down the attainable levels below, with kisses mean number of people you’ve kissed:

0 Kisses: Kiss Saving Strategist

1-3 Kisses: Peon, +1 courage

4-8 Kisses: Apprentice Kisser

9-15 Kisses: Master Kisser

16-40 Kisses: Dreadnought Lord of Kissing, +1 Dexterity

41-100 Kisses: Immortal Viceroy of Kissing

101+ Kisses: Liar, -10 everything

Kissing is a form of affection that can be wonderful, or it can be easily botched. It is important to learn that kissing is special, and can lead to other things if not held in check. Learning to kiss well can be important, but is not as important as kissing the right person and not just kissing anyone you meet.

The following is an excerpt from an article by author John Bytheway, called “What Do Kisses Mean?”

There’s an old nursery rhyme that begins, “Georgie Porgie, pudding and pie, kissed the girls and made them cry.” When you’ve heard that little poem, you may have wondered, “What made the girls cry?” Aren’t kisses nice things that anyone would appreciate? Perhaps it all depends on whether or not Georgie Porgie was an honest person or just a selfish young man who didn’t think about the consequences of his actions.

Actions Speak Louder than Words

An important part of dating is communicating. We communicate by sharing our thoughts, ideas, and feelings. We enjoy being with someone when we have an easy time communicating or when we have a lot to talk about. There’s another aspect of communication, however, that doesn’t involve talking—or using any words at all.

All of us know how to communicate without using words. Some of our nonverbal communication speaks loud and clear. With that idea in mind, let’s ask a few questions.

Suppose you are on a date, and you put your arm around your date’s shoulder. This is a common gesture of affection, but what does it communicate?

How about, “I like you”?

What if you hold hands with your date? That’s perhaps a stronger message, isn’t it? Maybe that’s like saying “I really like you.”

Finally, what if you kiss your date? Then what are you saying? What do kisses mean, anyway?

The point of Mr. Bytheway’s statement is that kissing doesn’t mean anything if you give your kisses away to everyone. Honesty is the underlying principle to good, fulfilling kissing and a fulfilling relationship for that matter.

What do you think?

A lot of people have been asking when this would be finally up, since we’ve had the link “coming soon” on the site for a few months now. Well, it’s finally here!

Look for regular posts, including an in-depth article series on the psychology of kissing which will be coming in the next couple of weeks.

Also, we’re developing some step by step videos on making out and how to not be kissed if you aren’t feeling it - because things like that are important too!

Stay tuned, and welcome to How To Kiss!