Tell me if you think I’m wrong. Doesn’t it seem like if a boy has kissed a lot of girls, he’s a hero, but if a girl kisses a lot of boys she’s a tramp? Or what about someone who hasn’t ever kissed anyone? Are they a loser? We shouldn’t assume as much, because maybe kissing means more to them than others. Or maybe they just haven’t found someone they want to kiss. Or maybe they’re only 15 and you can get off their back. Looking back on my middle school and high school days, I regret kissing 50% of the people I did. I say hooray for the kid who didn’t kiss Mandy Makeout just because he hasn’t kissed anyone yet. Yet there will be some who call him a loser. And there will be some who call Mandy Makeout a slut.

Double standards abound.

I think this goes even beyond kissing, but the point is that we should hold people to the same standard, no matter what sex they are. Or race or age for that matter.

There should be a universal standard for kissing. It could be kind of like one of those RPGs where you level up after so many kills… only this will be kisses. I’ve broken down the attainable levels below, with kisses mean number of people you’ve kissed:

0 Kisses: Kiss Saving Strategist

1-3 Kisses: Peon, +1 courage

4-8 Kisses: Apprentice Kisser

9-15 Kisses: Master Kisser

16-40 Kisses: Dreadnought Lord of Kissing, +1 Dexterity

41-100 Kisses: Immortal Viceroy of Kissing

101+ Kisses: Liar, -10 everything